I've been suffering from PANIC ATTACKS! since last Saturday. Lots of people bandy about the term, "Panic Attack". "Oh man, I was freakin' out...panic attack!" No, no.
NOPE. No, silly rabbit. A real panic attack can land you in the E.R.
Its the strangest thing. Suicidal, out-of-body, brain is spinning, heart is pumping. limbs are shaking. And the FEAR! I was filled with HORRIBLE debilitating FEAR. Sense of dread from no where. Like, I was gonna DIE. No joke! So, I woke up with it on Saturday night. Sunday afternoon. Monday Morning. Monday Night...really severe...
Finally saw a psychiatrist on Tuesday who put me on some heavy doses of tranquilizers. I can't function on the full dose, so Ive been taking less. Still can't really function too well, but no panic. I've been out of work all week. Going back for an evaluation tomorrow. I think the onset was a reset of a VERY high manic phase gone overboard. Plus, I've had some disagreements on my treatment with Bernie. I was doing just fine with my own organic method, until he had to stick his nose in and remove my natural remedies. He doesn't agree with my brand of self-care. HE also doesn't have to live inside my body wrecked with pain and my mind fraught with genetic defects. He should have left well enough alone. I still take deep offense at his lack of boundaries. Who is he to tell me what is right for my own care? I should lay here in a drug induced stupor because HE prefers that? No fucking way.
If he kept his paws off my belongings, we/I wouldn't be having these problems. Part of me really doesn't like him or his methods much anymore.
